so, here is the latest

Jr's mom was diagnosed with metabolic encephalopathy. Essentially, her liver does not work.. at all. instead of her liver filtering her blood, it is backing up into her stomach. When the stomach acids are combining with the blood, it is breaking it down into the protein ammonia. The ammonia then goes through her blood stream, and essentially, she is being poisoned. Last Thursday, she was hospitalized because she was delusional and combative (metabolic encephalopathy) and when she was admitted, they said she was comatose, and almost put her on life support. She began responding to treatment, and the doctors released her on Sunday. Jr and I drove home Monday, feeling good that she was back at home. However, just today, she was re-admitted to the ICU because she was combative and delusional again. They are a bit baffled, because she was on meds, and being monitored closely to prevent this from happening again. As you can imagine, JR is on edge, and goes back and forth on whether or not to go back to Michigan or not. I can honestly tell you this has been a fall/winter from hell, and I cannot wait for all of this to be over. As far as dad goes, he is not doing well either. He will most likely have to have a feeding tube put in Monday, and he sees this as a huge failure. He thinks this means the cancer is winning. We are just trying to keep ourselves, and our families in a positive place... but let me tell you.... that is just not an easy thing to do right now. Dad and his doctors will re-test the 1st or 2nd week of January to see how all of the treatments have effected him, and will determine a course after that. I just keep praying for good news! I just feel sometimes like I am in a really bad dream........... I wish I could wake up.

What an absolute nightmare

So, Yesterday I was having a wonderful time with my former co - workers form Edina. We were in the midst of a great conversation when I excused myself because my husband was calling me for the fifth time. I said hello, and all I heard was crying. I said, "Honey?" and he said, " My mom just had a stroke. They are taking her to the ER" needless to say, our lovely meeting was brought to an abrupt end, and I drove home to be with JR. as I am writing this right now, we are waiting in the Tires Plus lobby, because we had to have 3 new tires put on the car. We are making an emergency trip to Michigan. His mom is dying. Her liver is failing, and she has a build up of ammonium in her system. She is confused; doesn't recognize any familiar face, or know where she is. I will blog once I get there and we have more information. I just don't know how much more of this I can take..............

Today...................

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to ALL of you who have been reading not only this blog, but my dad's on caring bridge as well. You have been so incredibly supportive, and have really helped us all get through this ugly journey! I hope today is a wonderful day for you all, you definitely deserve it! :) Enjoy, indulge! and I will hopefully see you soon! GOBBLE GOBBLE!!!!

It just keeps getting more complicated.....

Well, last Saturday I did go to mom and dads, and I spent all day there. However, he was only awake for about an hour, and he he was feeling so sick that hour, that he was barely even talking. His anti-nausea medications have not been working, so he has been feeling really sick, and has not really been eating anything. He has begun to get fluids pumped into his system, because he has been dehydrated. He is losing more weight than his doctors would like, so they may put a feeding tube in him by the end of next week. He totally bummed out when he heard that. He really does not want the feeding tube..... at all. Today was a really long day for him, because he went into for his radiation, which they have been giving him more than he has been used to. He also had fluids pumped into him, which takes around 4 hours to administer. Then he had to have a blood transfusion because his white blood cell count was down. that transfusion took about 4 hours as well! Phew! What a long day..... I gave him a few movies to watch.... he only ended up watching one! If anyone has any great suggestions for movies dad could watch while he is getting his treatments, that would be great! i kind of run out of ideas from time to time! Hopefully he will be in good spirits this weekend, and I will be able to take a picture of him , so you can all see how he is doing... again thank you thank you thank you for all of your support of myself and my family we appreciate it so so so so so so so much! Talk to you all soon! :)

Erin

Yikes

And It begins...........dad came home early from work on Tuesday...felling nauseated and getting sick....... we were expecting this to happen eventually...... i just didn't think it would happen so soon. I hope it dosen't last for too long... poor guy.......... if he cannot keep any food down for long periods of time, he may have to have a feeding tube put in.................

and so it starts.................


as you can see, I am having trouble sleeping.. if anyone has any great tips for falling asleep without letting your mind wander.. please share...... I would love to hear them. Until later...........

Radiation:

This is just a picture of a radiation machine. This is what dad lies under everyday for 20 minutes for the next five-six weeks. Pretty cool looking.

Here is another picture of it rotating


Alright, I'm going to bed now! Good night!

The first day................

I took this excerpt directly from my brother's posting on dad's caring bridge website.


Today was a long, tough day beginning with Joe and Maureen arriving at St. John's at 8:30 A.M. Joe was immediately hooked up to IV's of anti- nausea medication as well as saline to flush his system. He was then administered an IV of Cisplaten Chemo, followed by another system flush. He stayed in the same room for the rest of of the morning, where he and Maureen were joined by his brother-in-law John and John's wife Molly. At 1:00, he walked over to the Radiation Therapy Center and received his radiation treatment. An hour later, he went back to the Chemo Infusion Center where a pump was installed to administer the second type of chemo. This pump is hooked up through a little pouch that he wears around his waist that looks like a fanny pack. The pump is set to continually pump the chemo into his system. He will wear it for four days and have it removed on Friday. So far he has not had any side effects or problems with the treatments, but the side effects (nausea and fatigue) sometimes take a few days to manifest themselves.

The picture is what dad's fanny pack thingy for chemo looks like. Just thought some of you would like to know!


Tomorrow I may have to drive dad to and from Radiation, so I will probably post again after I get home from work. We have one day down.............. thats progress in my eyes! :) Have a great night, and I will post soon!

A total aside................................

I just found out I have been exposed to, and bitten by bed bugs! NOT IN MY OWN HOME!!!!!! but, I am totally freaking out.......... AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Can I come over? hahahahaha! Kidding :)

Where there's a yin, there's a yang

Sorry I haven't posted in a while - there's not much news to tell. Dad met with his new team of doctors, and he seems to like them a lot. They are not starting his treatments until Monday, November 10th. He will receive radiation therapy five times a day for six weeks. While he is receiving this treatment, he will also receive chemo. He gets his chemo two ways. One is through his port right at the clinic while he is receiving his radiation therapy. The other way he is going to do his chemo treatment is through a fanny pack that he will wear for 48 hours at a time. It pumps the chemo in around the clock, so that's why he has to wear the fanny pack. While we were all relieved to get this started, we were horrified when dad's doctor told him that due to the aggressive nature of his cancer, the location and the size of the tumor, it is likely that they will never get all of the cancer or the tumor out. They said it could possibly go into remission, but the chances of getting rid of it all together is relatively slim. I'm not sure why this news hit me so hard. I guess I just figured that once there was a plan in motion, and he started getting treatment, he would get better. I still have to hold onto the hope that dad is young, and he is so strong; and let me tell you, if anyone is going to beat this, it will be my dad.

I went over to mom and dad's last night.. my co workers were so kind, and brought food for my family. I came in the door, and told mom and dad what I had, and dad turned and hugged me, and started crying. I asked him if he was feeling okay, and he said no. He kept saying over and over and over...... I just don't want to do this........ I just don't want to do this. He said he was humbled by the fact that people who didn't even know him, and who only knew me a short while would be so kind, and take a moment to show that they care. You nave no idea how much your kind words, thoughts, and prayers help my dad. It is what is fueling him to take this head on. He knows he has such a large cheering section, and I promise, he won't let us down!

Dad started a caring bridge site last night. Here is the website if you would like to check it out!
Dad'sPage
If that doesn't work, you can go to www.caringbridge.org and find "visit a page". Then type in josephrogers (Joseph Rogers with no space) He hasn't started any journal entries, but he has completed the "my story" page. So if you click on that tab at the top, you can read it that way too! I hope you enjoy it, and the weekend! I will post soon. Probably on Monday, after his treatment, to let you know how he is feeling! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! It really means a lot......... :)

Finally, some good news

Well, it seems that they have figured out what is going to happen with the whole insurance mess. I guess instead of being treated at St. Joseph's hospital in St. Paul, he is going to be treated at St. John's hospital in Maplewood. He originally was going to have the port insertion postponed, but the doctors have decided to go ahead and have it put in today after all. They still have no idea when they will actually begin the chemotherapy and radiation treatments, possibly early next week. We are feeling good that at least we are moving forward, and in the right direction. Here's to hoping that the procedure goes well, and dad likes his new team of doctors. I am sure they are just as capable as the one's at St. Joe's...............

Here is a picture of St. Johns, which is where I am sure my family and I will be spending a lot of time in the coming months. ... Maybe I will sneak a picture or two inside as well........

I hope everyone enjoys the weather the next two days... its supposed to be really nice! I will update on here later tonight if dad hears any new information today at his appointment.

Until later..........

Yesterday was a hard, hard day

Well, Dad's surgeon and oncologist told him yesterday that his cancer in the advanced stages, and has spread to nearby lymph nodes....... which we all were fearing. He is most likely in stage IV, but the doctors can't say that for sure unless they take out the tumor all together and look at it. Which they won't do for a long, long time. As you know, he was supposed to have his port put in tomorrow, but that has been put on hold. Dad found out yesterday that the radiologist on his team is not covered by his insurance company. This news is so frustrating and aggravating becasue now we have to find out what radiologist dad is covered by, and then he will have to meet with the new one, and set up a new plan , etc. It is just really hard news to hear, becasue before, we had a plan.

No matter what the news was, we had a plan. Now, not only do we not have a plan, we don't have a radiologist......... it is so frustrating, and I just wish we could get this started................


but, at least we have each other, and we are feel really supported, and we know we will get over t his road bump too.

I will update as soon as I get any more info............A couple of people have asked for some new pictures so I put this one up of dad and I on my and JR's wedding day...... Dad was cracking jokes as we walked down the isle..... I was crying as I walked down the isle......... but not becasue I was emotional.......... dad was being so funny, and I was laughing so hard I thought I would get the hiccups. Which just made me laugh even harder........... could you imagine me on the alter, with the hiccups, echoing for the whole church to hear?? too funny! :)

I never did get the hiccups.. Thank Goodness! :)

Well, at this point I don't have much more to share than this. Hope all of you have a wonderful evening, and I will update as soon as I can. Thanks for reading this. :) Good night

The Port

So this is what I know at this point.......... on Thursday, dad's surgeon called him, and told him "all is as we expected"...... whatever that means. The next step now is that dad has an appointment with his Oncologist on Monday, and that is when we will know for sure what stage of cancer dad is in. I am so anxious for all of this waiting to be over....... I just want to know what is going on.........

on Wednesday, dad is having his chemotherapy port put in, which is what the lovely picture is at the top of this entry. The tubing and most of the port you see there will be put under his skin, on his chest, up by his left (I think) shoulder. The tubing part is inserted directly into his vein, so the doctors don't have to look for a vein every time he comes in for treatment. Here are some facts I found about the port, and I thought you may like to read about them too:

The port is about the size of a quarter, only thicker, and will show only as a bump underneath the skin. There are several benefits to having a port:

• No need to find a vein every time you receive chemo. A special needle fits right into the port, so all you feel is the stick—not the poking, prodding, and false tries in your arm. The nurse may numb the skin first with ice or a cream, to lessen any feeling at all.
  
• The medication goes right into the main blood supply entering the heart, so it can be sent quickly and efficiently to all parts of the body.
  
• Some types of chemotherapy can be very uncomfortable if injected into a vein just under your skin. The port avoids this potential discomfort.
  
• Getting blood for blood tests can usually be done through the port, decreasing the number of times you need to have a vein "stuck."

Once the treatment is over (which won't be for like 3-4 months) they can remover the port, and dad will have a scar for the rest of his life from where it was. I like to think of it as his battle scar :)

I will for sure update on Monday........... until then, thank you thank you thank you for all of the warm words and well wishes! You have no idea how much they help, and how supported our family feels with all of you praying for and thinking of us!!!! You are the best family/friends a family could ever hope for! Have a great rest of the weekend!

No New News:

Well, I just talked to mom on the phone, and I found out that dad's results won't be in until Thursday, or possibly even Friday. They are just going to call him on the phone (yikes) and tell him that way. The he will meet with his oncologist on Monday, and treatments will most likely start on Tuesday or Wednesday. I am not sure if I should feel relieved or scared at how quickly they are moving with everything. On one hand, I feel great because they are doing everything right now, but on the other hand it makes me wonder, what is the urgency all about? I guess it just makes me go to the worst case scenario, but I am so so so so so so so so thankful that we are going to begin this long journey soon. The waiting is really hard....................................

Another great picture of dad

This picture just makes me laugh. I have also been listening to a lot of music lately, and these are the lyrics that are really striking me right now:









And now I must confess
I could use some rest
I can't run at this pace very long
Yes it's quite insane
I think it hurts my brain
But it cleans me out and then I can go on


-Jimmy Buffett, Trying to reason with Hurricane Season.

Esoph - a - huh?

This is my dad, and my husband, JR.


My dad was diagnosed with espohageal cancer on 10/10/2008. When I heard the words, Cancer, my ears literally started to ring... What do you mean, cancer? You are my dad. The strongest person I know.. SURELY you can't mean CANCER CANCER ... right? But oh...was I wrong. Unfortunately Dad has one of the most deadly forms of cancer you can be diagnosed with. The reason this cancer is so deadly is because once you have the symptoms of espohageal cancer, it has already spread to lymph nodes and other organs near the tumor. And indeed, this is the case for dad as well. Through is PET and MRI scans, his doctors were able to determine that lymph nodes in both his throat and his stomach are showing sign of cancer as well. This news crushed me. Although it is mildly optimistic, because it had not metastasized to any organs....... to me, it has still spread. It was devastating.. I think in the first 72 hours after finding out that my dad had cancer i physically got sick about 15 times. How could this happen to me? To my family? to MY DAD? I used to listen to people say, "it can happen to anyone" and feel so sorry for them, and think, oh how terrible that must be. But let me tell you, now that my family and I are in this situation, I can tell you that it truly "can happen to anyone" . This type of cancer typically happens when the patient smokes or drinks heavily. Neither of which my father participated in. It is just a freak thing that has happened, and has left my family reeling.

I thought many of you would like to see what my dad looks like, so this is why I put this picture up. I thought it was a great picture of him. It was taken on 9/22/2008. Danny's golden birthday :) This is the way I want to remember my dad, although I know he is going to get weak, and lose his hair, this is still the guy he will always be to me

He had an endoscopy today to determine what stage of cancer he is in.......... I will let you know as soon as I get any updates. Cross your fingers, and pray for good news! That's what I am doing at this point!!!!!!!!!

I will continue to update everyone with info as much as I can on here, so you don't have to feel weird about asking me for updates! If you find a free second in your day, and you are a person of faith, if you could say a quick prayer for my dad, that would be great. We could really use it about now!

I will write again soon....... here's to hoping I sleep tonight! :) Goodnight